Roy Wood Jr. On Desantis "Don't Say Gay" Escalation | Wh Correspondents' Dinner Joke Pitches

A Cataclysmic Dopamine Shockwave

I consider myself lucky to be alive. This week, I had the opportunity to witness Donald Trump's triumphant return to the political stage at his first 2024 campaign rally. As he galloped onto the Waco stage, exuding the charisma of a stallion digesting a Filet-O-Fish, I experienced a cataclysmic dopamine shockwave. It was a moment of pure exhilaration.

But let me take a moment to express my gratitude to Dr. Harris Miller and the entire Waco Ascension Providence emergency room team. They quickly diagnosed my ailment: severe dehydration from not drinking water for an entire month. They revived me with my favorite orange Gatorade. And now, here I am, back among the living, ready to share my experience.

And who better to join me in this discussion than comedian and The Daily Show correspondent, Roy Wood Jr.? Welcome, Roy! How are you doing?

The Trump Rally Takeaway

Roy, I must say, your presence at the Trump rally was remarkable. I'd love to hear your thoughts and takeaways from the event. Is it true that the audiences' ecclesiastical elation inspired a Touched by an Angel sequel?

Roy: Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I wasn't physically present at the Trump rally. I would never accept that assignment. However, I can definitely share my thoughts on the Trump campaign as a whole. There are still many unanswered questions surrounding Trump's political future. While he may have a loyal base, it was the support of moderates that initially propelled him to victory in 2016. And now, these moderates are closely observing how Trump's campaign compares to the evolving candidacy of Ron DeSantis. Additionally, there are pending indictments hanging over Trump's campaign, making the future uncertain. So, in a few weeks, all of this might become irrelevant.

The Waco Airport and Heroic Protesters

I couldn't help but admire Trump's choice of holding the rally at the Waco Airport. What better way to show his adoration for his supporters than by saying, "Miami to me at the airport, so I can get the hell out of here as quickly as possible"?

Roy: Absolutely! It's a classic move by Trump. But what caught my attention even more was how he portrayed the January 6th protesters as heroes. According to him, they were just like the D-Day soldiers, except they slept at the Willard Intercontinental Hotel instead of trenches. It's quite the comparison, isn't it?

Ron DeSantis and the "Don't Say Gay" Law

Now, let's shift gears and talk about Ron DeSantis. His administration is pushing to expand the "don't say gay" law to all grades. The idea is to prevent students from pursuing anything that goes against what God supposedly wants for them. But Roy, shouldn't DeSantis take it a step further and apply this rule even after graduation, so that everyone becomes nice, well-adjusted, sexually repressed psychos like me?

Roy: I must say, everything Governor DeSantis is doing is indicative of the fears people had when this law was initially introduced. The Republicans assured us that it would only apply to young children, but now it's expanding to all grades. It sets a dangerous precedent. If this is how DeSantis runs a state, one can only wonder how he would run the entire country. Kids naturally want to emulate what they learn in school, which is why we shouldn't force them to learn about subjects like menstruation. They'll figure it out on their own eventually. Trust me, it's all part of the experience.

Celebrating the Media at the White House Correspondents Dinner

Roy, I'm thrilled to hear that you'll be hosting the 2023 White House Correspondents Dinner. What's your strategy? Are you planning to start in on Hunter Biden and not stop until Joe starts crying?

Roy: No, my goal isn't to inflict pain. The White House Correspondents Dinner is an opportunity for me to make jokes that span both sides of the aisle. But most importantly, I want to celebrate the hard work that journalists put into making sense of this country. It's time to move away from comedians punching down at the most powerless among us, especially wealthy conservative power players. So, let me share a joke with you and see if you think it's worthy of the occasion.

Ready? Here it goes: "I see President Biden is here. Joe Biden is so old that he can't be trusted to secure our Southern border, which is totally out of control. It's a disgrace what happened to this country." What do you think?

Roy: Well, was that the whole joke? It's a bit lacking, don't you think?

Alright, how about this one? "First lady Jill Biden is in attendance. I know she prefers Dr. Jill Biden, but I don't respect the work she did to achieve that title, largely due to her gender." What are your thoughts?

Roy: I'm not sure if those are the jokes I would personally use, but they would certainly kill on Newsmax. I'll tell you that much.

And that wraps up our discussion on the Trump rally, Ron DeSantis, and the upcoming White House Correspondents Dinner. It's been a pleasure having you here, Roy. Thank you for joining us!

Roy: The pleasure is all mine. Keep up the great work, and let's continue making sense of this crazy world we live in.