How I Ask People To Communicate Clearly As An Autistic | The Much Much Show

In a world buzzing with communication, where everyone seems to be a self-proclaimed expert on deciphering thoughts and feelings, there exists a community of individuals who, like myself, can't quite read between the lines. We are the neurodivergent, the ones who perceive the world through a unique lens.

The Ongoing Struggle

You see, when I tell people that I can't read between the lines, it's often met with skepticism. They may nod in agreement, but deep down, they believe they can still sneak in implications and hidden meanings. It's a bit like trying to pull off a magic trick after revealing the secret behind it.

But here's what I've learned through countless miscommunications - if I repeatedly express my inability to decode subtleties, people tend to gradually become more explicit. They raise the communication bar, step by step, until I reach a point where I can genuinely understand what they're saying. It's a shared effort, and in the end, nobody really feels left out.

The Myth of Universal Understanding

One of the challenges we neurodivergent folks face is the assumption that everyone thinks just like us. This is especially true when dealing with neurotypical individuals who have a strong conviction that they've got human psychology all figured out. They're so sure of their ability to grasp people's thoughts and feelings that they sometimes dismiss the evidence right in front of their eyes.

But let me tell you, it's not that simple. Neurodivergent or not, understanding the complexity of another person's mind is like chasing a rainbow - it's elusive and ever-changing. For many, believing that they have a profound grasp of what others are thinking has become part of their identity. To admit that they don't know how any individual thinks would mean dismantling a core belief about themselves, and that's a tough nut to crack, even if they're not consciously aware of it.

The Endless Cycle of Misunderstanding

I've had my fair share of such encounters, like with my dad. I've explained myself to him countless times, but he still can't fully grasp the kind of person I am. It's not a big deal to me, but it can lead to frustrating consequences for him. He might get upset about something, try to argue with me, and I, in all honesty, have no clue that he's even angry. I keep providing answers, and he keeps getting more and more frustrated, walking away in exasperation.

Thankfully, my wife often steps in and points out his anger, which is evident to her. She tells me, "You know, he's angry." To which I respond, "Oh, really? He should have communicated that more clearly." It's all in good humor, but it does highlight the core issue of misunderstanding that often occurs within families.

A Glimpse into My Work Life

In the realm of work, I'm fortunate to be in an environment where clear communication is not just appreciated; it's encouraged. I'm part of a team that values open dialogue and welcomes any number of questions I may have. It's a place where we understand that asking questions is the gateway to effective collaboration. We prioritize discussions and deliberations over hasty implementations.

Our company culture places a premium on doing things right, especially because we're a B2B company, and the quality of our work directly impacts other businesses. We understand that if we're not crystal clear in our communication, we risk breaking someone else's operation. Hence, we've cultivated a culture that supports inquisitiveness, and it perfectly aligns with my way of understanding things.

What's even more remarkable is that nobody at my workplace attempts to guess or make assumptions about how I think or perceive things. In fact, that's the beauty of it - they don't need to because everything they do naturally accommodates diverse perspectives. Our remote work setup, born during the first lockdown, has seamlessly integrated into our company culture, making it more inclusive for everyone.

In this ever-evolving world, filled with brilliant minds and creative souls, we should embrace the beauty of neurodiversity and make a conscious effort to communicate clearly. When we do, we unlock the potential for richer, more diverse conversations and collaborations that benefit us all. In the end, understanding each other isn't about reading between the lines; it's about respecting the lines that connect us.