Lean On Us (Dave & Patty Bright)

Embracing the Unexpected

When my partner and I first adopted our son, we were aware of the challenges that lay ahead. We were informed about his birth mother's diagnosis of schizophrenia and manic depression, and the potential impact it could have on his life. Learning disabilities, disruptive behavior, trouble in school, difficulty finding a job, and even the possibility of jail time were all mentioned as potential hurdles. Armed with this knowledge, I believed that with enough research and preparation, I could turn this child's life around. Little did I know that life had a different plan in store for us.

Struggling to Find Solutions

As Eric entered school, I tried everything I could think of to support him. Medication, counseling, and a strict diet to address his food allergies were all part of our strategy. While there were some improvements in his behavior, he remained a highly disruptive child. Temper tantrums lasting four hours, destructive tendencies when things didn't go his way - these challenges pushed me to my limits. The research I had done seemed useless, and anxiety began to consume me. Sharing my struggles with friends became my only outlet, but even they couldn't fully understand, as their children were nothing like mine.

A Marriage Tested

The stress of raising a difficult child took a toll on my marriage. My husband, unable to cope with our son's behavior, turned to drinking as an escape. He would often arrive home late, long after Eric had fallen asleep. To relieve my own stress and find some semblance of normalcy, I turned to dancing. It was during one of these nights out that I met Patty, who would later become my partner. She agreed to enter into a relationship with me, but navigating the complexities of our blended family was far from easy.

A Wilderness Program and Unforeseen Resentments

At the age of 13, we made the difficult decision to send Eric to a Wilderness Program in Montana. Our hope was that this program would bring about positive changes and a transformed son. Unfortunately, when he returned, he carried even more resentments. He resumed the destructive behaviors, turning to drugs, alcohol, and engaging in fights. Eventually, he found himself arrested at the age of 18, and I was devastated to realize that I couldn't save him from the consequences of his actions. Every Saturday for 12 months, I stood in line for eight hours, waiting to visit him in jail.

A Beacon of Hope and Strength

In the midst of my despair, a co-worker noticed my depression and reached out to me. They were part of the Kairos prison ministry, a community that supports those with incarcerated loved ones. Reluctantly, I agreed to attend one of their gatherings, and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The pastor, the leaders, the speakers, the cooks, the musicians - everyone there knew the pain and struggles of having someone they cared about behind bars. They became my support system, my guiding light in the darkness.

A Purpose Discovered

Inspired by my experiences, my partner and I decided to become more involved in our local church. We enrolled in life transformation seminars, and it was during this time that we discovered our purpose - to glorify God through our actions. My calling became clear - to minister to the men inside the prison walls. Simultaneously, my partner felt a strong pull to support the women outside the prison walls. Together, we formed a support group called FAITH (Families Assisting in Major Healing), providing a safe space for those affected by mental illness, domestic violence, drug abuse, and criminal activity to share their struggles.

A Lifelong Commitment

Today, our son Eric, now 32, finds himself once again awaiting sentencing for a new violation. But this time, we are leaning on God. We have come to realize that God is big enough to handle any situation, and when we lean on Him, we glorify Him by being there for others. Our journey has led us to create Faith Prison Care, an organization dedicated to providing support, hope, and a shoulder to lean on for those with loved ones in prison. If you are searching for support and hope in your own journey, please reach out to us. We are here to help in any way we can.

Conclusion

Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way, but it is in these moments that we discover our true strength and purpose. Our journey with our adopted son has been filled with ups and downs, but through it all, we have found solace in our faith and in the support of those who understand our struggles. We have learned that sometimes our plans are not aligned with God's plan, and that's okay. By embracing the unexpected and leaning on our faith, we can find the strength to overcome any obstacle and become a beacon of hope for others.