Stop Being Exploited - How To Deal With Disagreeable People | Jordan Peterson Motivation

Have you ever encountered someone who is tough-minded, blunt, and competitive? They won't hesitate to push you out of their way if you're blocking their path. These individuals are what we call disagreeable people. Unlike aggressive individuals who are high in neuroticism, disagreeable people exhibit predatory aggression and dominance behavior. They view the world as a competitive arena where they must strive to come out on top.

Let me share a story about a friend of mine who perfectly embodies the traits of a highly disagreeable person. I decided to have him take a personality test, specifically the big five aspect scale developed by Colin DeYoung. Not surprisingly, he scored incredibly high in disagreeableness. He's the kind of person who can be rude to strangers on the street, yet still manages to be incredibly funny. Despite his disagreeable nature, he is also remarkably conscientious and trustworthy.

Interestingly, he was often sought after by corporations to clean up their operations. When a company was struggling, they would bring him in to identify the underperforming employees and terminate their employment. I couldn't help but ask him how he handled such situations. Firing people is a challenging task for most people, but his response left me astounded. He said, "Handle it? I enjoy it!" He explained that he thoroughly analyzed the performance of groups within the company and identified those who were not pulling their weight. He would then call them into his office and bluntly inform them of their shortcomings. For him, it was a satisfying experience to remove individuals who were hindering progress and taking advantage of the system.

Now, let's shift our focus to the impact of disagreeable individuals on high-performing teams. In my own experience, I've had underperforming graduate students in my lab. The presence of these individuals not only affected their own productivity but also had a negative impact on the high-performing students. The high achievers felt that their hard work and dedication were being devalued by the presence of those who were not putting in the effort. This contrast highlights the importance of both conscientiousness and agreeableness in a team setting. Conscientious individuals prioritize accomplishments and hard work, while agreeable individuals emphasize empathy and support. Both perspectives have their merits, but they can often conflict in practice.

In large corporations and institutions, I've noticed that there is often an overreliance on the labor of agreeable and conscientious individuals, particularly women. These individuals are willing to take on excessive workloads, often without receiving proper recognition or complaining about their circumstances. It's a form of exploitation that goes unnoticed and perpetuates an unhealthy dynamic.

Agreeable individuals tend to be wired to be exploited, stemming from their innate nurturing instincts towards infants. However, this mindset is not conducive to success in the professional world. Many agreeable individuals seek psychotherapy to address their overly accommodating nature. They often undergo assertiveness training to learn how to advocate for themselves. I often encourage them to speak their minds and express their true thoughts, even if they may seem harsh or unpleasant. It's essential to bring these thoughts to the forefront and communicate them effectively.

However, for agreeable people, conflict is something they naturally shy away from. They prefer to maintain peace and avoid confrontation, which aligns with their instinctual need to protect infants from harm. Engaging in high-intensity conflicts, even when necessary for problem-solving, can be emotionally and physically distressing for agreeable individuals. This aversion to conflict can hinder their ability to address issues effectively in the long run.

To overcome these challenges, agreeable individuals must learn to identify their own desires and needs. Often, they have become so accustomed to prioritizing others' comfort and happiness that they neglect their own aspirations. While this selflessness can be advantageous in certain situations, it can hinder personal and professional growth. To forge a successful career, agreeable individuals must strike a balance between accommodating others and asserting themselves.

In conclusion, the world is a complex place that demands both inclusiveness and high-level performance. Disagreeable individuals bring a competitive edge and a no-nonsense approach, while agreeable individuals offer empathy and support. Both traits have their place, but it's crucial to recognize the potential conflicts that may arise. By understanding and leveraging the strengths of each personality type, we can foster healthier and more productive environments for everyone involved.