According To The Fbi, You Might Be Dangerous: Gutfeld

Yeah, that's good. Oh yeah, yeah, fantastic. Happy Tuesday, everyone! So, it's America's bad boy. Everyone already knows that I'm dangerous. Don't laugh. I'm the Jim Morrison of talk show hosts, and Kudlow's my backdoor man. But you know you might be dangerous, too, according to the FBI. And you don't even have to be an angry parent at a school board meeting. You just have to use words. Yeah, turns out new FBI documents released this week through a FOIA request reveal the bureau uses internet slang to seek out violent extremism online, odd terms linked to racially violent extremism. Words like "based," "LARPing," and "red pill." Terms that could be used in a context that doesn't involve racist views. Based is someone converted to a racist ideology. So, they must be keeping a close eye on Joy Reid, right? Doesn't "based" mean you're based in facts? You're grounded in logic, not wokeness? Perhaps that's why it's being targeted.

The Language of Extremism

Then you have LARPing, which stands for Live Action Role Play. You know, those words that dress up as knights and wizards until a jock walking through the park stuffs them in a trash can? The FBI says LARPing is a term used by extremists to accuse others of not being as extreme. I get it. My old manager at Medieval Times used to accuse me of it when I wouldn't wear a codpiece in his hot tub. Then there's "red-pilled," which came from the classic film "The Matrix," but now it's a metaphor for seeing behind the curtain and uncovering reality. But now, becoming red-pilled adopts racist, anti-Semitic, or fascist beliefs. So how did they get there? I don't know, but I guess it's a good thing that I got red-pilled way back when. And it wasn't from "The Matrix," but the facts of life.

The Danger of Word Association

The greatest moment in television history, Gayle is going to die. And she did. Because that's a fact of life. How could that not change you? It changed me. But you could see the danger here, right? Sure, there are extremists out there that might say they've been red-pilled, but some of them also play soccer. It's the mistake the media loves to play, and now the FBI does, too. They now define threats by the weakest of connections. So now you're guilty by word association. Maybe that's why Biden can't pronounce anything. Speaking of Joe, is it me, or has the Biden administration replaced the role of Charmin in the White House bathroom with the Constitution? The only rights citizens have these days are those that aren't in the Constitution. I can't own a gun in New York, but I can identify as a chick and run naked through a Lucille Roberts locker room. And I have. Another part of the FBI document refers to keeping an eye on "incels," which is short for involuntarily celibate. If you don't know what that is, there's your answer.

The Power of Language

Whoa. I thought that meant you were married. But a bunch of the FBI's terminology words are just slang. For example, "Chad." The FBI calls it the idealized version of a male very successful at getting romantic and sexual attention from women. Sounds more like a Greg to me. But if you're a shy dude making fun of Chad, you could end up on a watch list. So just to be safe, don't mock hanging chads, the country of Chad, or Fox Senior Congressional Correspondent Chad Pergram. Seriously, don't let his calm demeanor fool you. I once saw him debone a dolphin with a violin bow. No reason for it. They also flagged a word like "smack," which is self-improvement with the intent to become more attractive. Well, the cast of "The View" is safe. But how is this bad? Improving yourself to find a mate? Everyone does that. Even Jesse had hair from his back put on his head. So what is the message here? Well, it's don't message anything. From now on, you're a mafia don scribbling notes on torn paper to be eaten later by a starved underling. It's sad, really. It's almost like the FBI made its own excuse to spy on everyone and not just Trump. But it's sadder still that another group you once looked up to turns out to be kind of lame. First, it was the Red Hot Chili Peppers, now it's the FBI. I mean, I remember, you know, when you were a kid, working for the FBI sounded cool. They had TV shows and movies about it. But what if that was all BS, and it was always about invasive targeting, informants, setups, creating criminals out of misguided fantasists? I hope I'm wrong. Maybe the new FBI is secretly based and LARPing until the Chad gets lost. Now that would be a red pill. Period!

Conclusion

In a world where language is under scrutiny, we find ourselves in a peculiar situation. The FBI's latest efforts to identify extremists based on their use of slang and obscure words certainly raises eyebrows. The power of words and their impact on our lives cannot be underestimated. Language has the potential to enlighten, unite, or divide, and it can lead to unexpected consequences.

The FBI's attempt to identify extremists is not without merit, but the risk lies in overreaching and labeling everyday people as potential threats based on their word choices. We must strike a balance between safeguarding our society and preserving our freedom of expression.

In the end, we are left with a sense of caution. Our words matter, and in this age of increased surveillance, it is essential to be mindful of what we say, how we say it, and how our words might be interpreted. The line between protecting our security and infringing on our civil liberties is a delicate one. As we navigate these uncharted waters, let's remember that the power of language is a double-edged sword, capable of both enlightening and ensnaring.