Margaret Neale: Negotiation: Getting What You Want

Negotiation – it's a word that can evoke a sense of unease in many. We often associate it with high-stakes business deals or intense salary discussions. But here's the catch: negotiation is not just about the big bucks; it's a life skill that can be your secret weapon in various situations. In this essay, we'll embark on a journey through the world of negotiation, discovering how you can master this art and, in the process, change your life for the better.

Negotiating Your Course Load

Let's start with a real-world example. Imagine you're a professor facing a dilemma: your university wants you to teach an additional course. The workload is piling up, and the thought of squeezing in another class is overwhelming. But wait, there's a way out! You decide to negotiate with your Dean, proposing to extend your specialty courses from three to four hours, all while keeping your overall workload at five hours.

Here, we see the first rule of negotiation – assess, prepare, ask, and package – in action. You assessed the situation, weighed the pros and cons, and prepared a compelling case. When you engaged in the negotiation, you made sure to address both your interests and your counterpart's. In this case, you offered a solution that satisfied the Dean's goal of consistency and, at the same time, prioritized your expertise and workload.

This example highlights a crucial aspect of negotiation – it's not about being demanding or greedy. It's about creative problem-solving and finding solutions that benefit all parties involved. Instead of adopting an adversarial stance, you embraced a collaborative mindset, leading to a favorable outcome. It's essential to understand your alternatives, reservation price, and aspirations, allowing you to navigate negotiations effectively and secure deals that work for you.

Negotiation Beyond the Boardroom

Now, let's shatter the stereotype that negotiation only belongs to corporate boardrooms. It's a versatile skill that can be applied in all aspects of life. Whether it's negotiating a raise, securing better contract terms, or finding a compromise in a personal dispute, the four steps of negotiation are your trusty companions.

In essence, negotiation is a powerful tool to achieve better outcomes. The key is to shift your perspective from confrontation to cooperation. Change the narrative from a battle of wills to a joint effort in problem-solving. By understanding your interests and your counterpart's, you'll be well-equipped to navigate negotiations effectively.

Women and the Art of Negotiation

Negotiation transcends gender and should be a skill mastered by all. However, it's important to recognize the unique challenges women may face in the world of negotiation. Consider a study conducted during the US Tennis Open, where men challenged calls three times more often than women. The underlying issue might not be a lack of competence but rather societal expectations.

Research shows that women who believe they negotiate poorly tend to underperform, while those with a positive self-view outshine their male colleagues. It's high time we change these expectations to alter outcomes.

For women, three aspects of negotiation are particularly significant. First, the "why." Women tend to be more effective when they pair their competence with a communal orientation. Focus on how your skills will benefit the organization, employer, or team, rather than solely your own interests.

Second, the "how." Male evaluators often penalize female negotiators for asking for more money in distributive negotiations, whereas female evaluators can be equally critical. It's crucial to find ways to make your request benefit both parties – a win-win approach.

Lastly, the "for whom." Women often excel in representational negotiations, where they negotiate not just for themselves but for their families or pets. This demonstrates the power of expanding your perspective beyond your individual interests.

In conclusion, negotiation is an art, and anyone can become a master of it. By practicing in low-risk situations, understanding your needs, being willing to say no, framing your request to align with business goals, and maintaining your enthusiasm, you can unlock the potential of negotiation in your life. It's time to embrace this skill and use it to your advantage, as it may lead to a future where a small $7,000 increase now could make a $100,000 difference over 30 years. So, don't just negotiate; negotiate like a pro and watch your life transform.