Hercules (1997) Hades Angry About Hercules Alive

Ah, how cute! A couple of rodents looking for a theme park. Who are you calling a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny, and I'm his gopher. I thought I smelled a rat, Meg. Speak of the devil, Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian-less. I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse. Fine, so instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, hey, I'm gonna add two on. Okay, give that your best shot. Look, it wasn't my fault. It was this wonder boy, Hercules.

Hercules, why does that name ring a bell? I don't know, maybe we owe money. What was that name again? Hercules. He comes on with his big innocent farm boy routine, but I can see through that in a peloponnesian minute. Wait a minute, wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to... Oh, yeah! I mean, Hercules is very popular. Remember, like a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were only imprisoned. I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the once...

That's right, at least we need a mortal. That's a good thing. Fortunately for the three of you, we still have time to correct this rather egregious oversight, and this time, no follow-ups.

Please stay in character!