"I Wanted A Son" - Nivedita Chandra Ft Samuel | Women's Day (Unerase Poetry)

Introduction: A Secret Wish

I must admit, it may sound peculiar to openly express this sentiment, but I have carried it within me since the very beginning. From the moment my partner and I decided to start a family, I quietly held onto a hope that I would have a son. Now, as I reflect, I realize the profound impact that gender bias has had on me throughout my life.

A Name to Carry Forward

You might question the significance of family names, for I am no royal. However, the truth is that I have come to terms with the fact that my name will indeed fade away with me. Yet, this desire for a son goes beyond mere tradition. It is an acknowledgement of the biases that still permeate our society.

The Burden of Being a Girl

Years ago, when I was just a child, an unspeakable act shattered my innocence. It took me years to comprehend what had occurred, and when I finally did, a profound sense of shame engulfed me. It became clear that it wasn't simply my age that made me vulnerable; it was because I was a girl. The boys around me seemed untouched, while I wrestled with the weight of this burden.

A Moment of Freedom

As a child, our family vacations were few and far between. However, that one year we ventured to a tranquil hill station, my delight knew no bounds. Enchanted by the majestic mountains and sparkling fountains, I reveled in the pure joy of being a child.

A Painful Awakening

However, that illusion of bliss was abruptly shattered. In a misguided attempt to shield me from the prying eyes of others, my mother chastised me for the innocence I displayed. She forcibly dragged me out of the water and chastised me for my wet shirt clinging to my body. At that moment, I realized that the world saw me differently. I was not just a child; I was a girl child. The boys around me giggled, unaffected by such scrutiny.

Puberty Strikes

The trials and tribulations of puberty arrived, uninvited and unwelcome. Suddenly, my world was tipped upside down as the arrival of my menstrual cycle enveloped me. I was inundated with warnings: walk slowly, keep your eyes down, beware of stained skirts. It felt like a low blow, a sudden plummet into womanhood that I was ill-prepared for. The physical pain was just the beginning; it was the emotional weight that became unbearable.

The Weight of Expectations

With each passing day, the judgments continued to pile on. Too bossy, too soft, too rustic, too attractive, too curvy, too flat - the labels grew. People demanded modesty and silence, forcing me to question everything about myself. What would people say about my choices, my appearance, and my voice? The boys, however, were left to their own devices, unaffected by such ceaseless scrutiny.

A Son: A Shield from Society's Gaze

In light of these experiences, it's no wonder that I held a secret desire for a son. It wasn't because I believed one gender to be inherently better than the other; it was a heartfelt longing to protect a child from the rampant biases and inequalities that still persist. I yearned for a son so that he could navigate the world with relative ease, unburdened by the weight of societal expectations.

Changing Times

I find solace in the thought that times are gradually changing. Society is beginning to recognize the deep-rooted biases that have plagued us for far too long. As I cradle my daughter each night, I can't help but hope that I can raise her to be strong and resilient, ready to defy the limitations placed upon her. We must believe in progress and work towards a future where gender does not determine one's worth or opportunities.

Conclusion: A Journey Towards Equality

In conclusion, my secret wish for a son is not a dismissal of the strength and power that lies within being a girl. It is an acknowledgement of the ongoing battle against gender bias that we must confront head-on. By sharing my story and aspirations, I aim to ignite conversations that challenge our preconceived notions and inspire change. Let us join together in raising a generation that is liberated from the shackles of gender expectations, fostering a world where every child can thrive.