7 Things I Wish I Knew At 20

Hey there, fellow wanderer of the fascinating journey called life! I recently celebrated the big 3-0 milestone, which in itself is a testament to the passage of time, but let me tell you, my 20s were nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. In this delightful tête-à-tête, I'll share seven enlightening lessons I've picked up along the way. So, fasten your seatbelts and let's dive in!

1. Your 20s: Not the Legendary Adventure You Imagined

Your 20s, as portrayed in advertising, TV, and movies, seem like a whirlwind of cocktails, romances, and intriguing jobs. You might have envisioned yourself as a young, beautiful writer, navigating life's ups and downs with charm and grace. But the truth is, this glorious facade is only part of the story.

In reality, your 20s are a cocktail of emotions and experiences. Yes, there are the fun times, wild risks, and love affairs, but most of the time, you feel like a naïve child stumbling through the adult world. You grapple with financial instability, fear, and a treasure trove of unresolved childhood drama. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but it's a journey worth taking.

2. Present You vs. Future You: Making Decisions that Matter

One epiphany that struck me in my late 20s was the power of considering "future me" in decision-making. Every choice I made, I began to ask myself, "What does tomorrow me want?" This simple shift in perspective was transformative.

For instance, when I decided to quit drugs and alcohol, I pondered whether tomorrow me wanted to feel shame and sadness. The answer was a resounding "no." This realization ignited a sense of self-respect and empowerment that changed my life. I realized that our decisions shape our future, and making choices to benefit our future selves is the key to an extraordinary life.

3. Embracing Empathy: Assume Everyone's Battling Their Demons

Life is a puzzle, and everyone's playing their part. You have two options: either assume everyone is living their best life while you wallow in misery, or realize that beneath the surface, we're all wrestling with our own demons.

The latter approach, practicing empathy and offering support, is a game-changer. Every person you meet, no matter how put-together they seem, has their share of struggles. Remember, we're all in this together. It's the human condition, and acknowledging it can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.

4. The Slow Fade of Fun: When Drugs Stop Being Fun

It's a hard pill to swallow, pun intended, but the fun of drugs and alcohol eventually fades away. We all start with the promise of a good time, but as time goes on, the joy diminishes, and one day, it's simply not fun anymore.

Here's the cold truth: it doesn't get better. There's no magical point where more drugs will make them fun again. It took me too long to grasp this, but Terence McKenna put it perfectly when he said, "Once you get the message, hang up the phone." When drugs lose their appeal, it's time to change your approach.

5. The Pressure of Youth: It's Okay If You Don't Crush It in Your 20s

The internet exerts an insurmountable pressure on young individuals, especially those in creative fields, to achieve exceptional success at a young age. The result? A generation grappling with feelings of inadequacy.

But here's what I wish I knew in my 20s: chasing material success won't lead to lasting happiness. Once your basic needs are met, true contentment comes from appreciating what you have and living with gratitude. It's a powerful shift in focus that can make the difference between a life of frustration and a life of fulfillment.

6. The Path to Freedom: Hard Choices vs. Easy Choices

Jerzy Gregorek, the Olympic weightlifter, succinctly captures a fundamental truth: "Hard choices, easy life; easy choices, hard life." In essence, the decisions you make, both big and small, will shape your life's trajectory.

This concept isn't solely reserved for monumental choices like changing cities or jobs; it applies equally to your daily micro-decisions. What you eat, how you spend your time, and the people you surround yourself with all contribute to the story of your life. So, opt for the hard choices, and you'll find that discipline paves the path to freedom.

7. Unmasking Your True Self: Confronting Your Demons

At the heart of my 20s was a persistent effort to run from myself. I indulged in excessive travel, experimented with substances, and pursued a career I didn't truly enjoy. These distractions were a way to avoid confronting the unaddressed trauma from my past.

But one day, I found the courage to face my demons. It was a pivotal moment when my mom unwittingly encouraged me to share my own history of abuse. Opening up led to a cascade of healing and growth. As Lewis Howes aptly put it, "You're only as sick as your secrets."

So, remember, wherever you go, there you are. Embrace your past, your pain, and your imperfections because they are all part of the beautiful mosaic that is your life.

In closing, I hope you've found these insights as valuable as they have been in my journey through my 20s. Whether you're entering this adventurous decade or reflecting on the past, remember that life is a dance, and we all have our unique steps to learn. Embrace the journey, and may it be filled with growth, wisdom, and the unwavering belief in the potential for positive change. Bon voyage! 🚀🌟