Trump Called Everyone In Georgia, Charges Coming In Stormy Daniels Case & New Jan 6th Footage

Today was an exciting day for iPhone users everywhere. Apple has announced that they will be releasing over 30 new emojis for their iPhones. Finally, we can express ourselves with even more creative and unique symbols. But the big question is, which emoji do you think you use the most?

For me, it's definitely the prayer hands emoji. You see, whenever my phone dies, I like to think that it's going to heaven. And now, with these new emojis, I'll have even more options to choose from. Some of the new emojis include a moose emoji (a big win for Canada), a jellyfish emoji (a big win for Ted Cruz), a hair pick emoji (thank goodness, I've been begging for this), and even a ginger emoji. But wait, where's the meatball emoji? How many angry faces do I have to send to get a meatball emoji? It's like they're attacking the Italian people with these new additions.

Gonzaga University: Real or Imaginary?

In other news, the NCAA basketball tournament is currently underway. And you know what that means, it's time for Gonzaga University to make its appearance. But here's something that's been bothering me for years. Gonzaga is not a real place! It's a made-up school name. It's like Santa and his elves going to the North Pole. So tomorrow, Gonzaga will be playing against Grand Canyon University, which also sounds made up, but I don't want to get into another argument with the Gonzaga people. I'm just afraid of ghosts, okay?

Trump's Bad Week and the Stormy Daniels Saga

Oh, Donald Trump, when will it ever end for you? This may be his last week as an unindicted man. Remember that perfect call he made to the Georgia Secretary of State, asking him to find him 11,000 votes? Well, it turns out there's another recording of another call. This time, he tried to pressure the Georgia Speaker of the House to overturn the election. Trump really thinks he can order the presidency over the phone, like he's ordering a stuffed crust pizza.

But that's not all. Prosecutors in New York are indicating that criminal charges are likely for Trump in the Stormy Daniels hush money case. And of course, Trump swears he did nothing wrong. His former lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, says there's nothing to see here at all. Nothing wrong with writing a check for $130,000 to a porn star, right? Presidents do that all the time. Hoover did it, Reagan did it, Roosevelt did it. It's practically a presidential tradition. Maybe they should just call him Chester Arthur, because he loved porn stars. You see, Trump's lawyer, Joe Tacopina, denies any wrongdoing. He's an extortion victim, not a criminal. We're distorting the laws just to try and bag President Trump. It's a travesty of justice, I tell you.

The Greatest Game Show Contestant: Lynn and the Coins

And now, let's switch gears to something a little bit lighter. It's time to play a game show called "On the Money." And we have our first contestant, Lynn, all the way from Connecticut. Lynn is on a roll, and she's about to make game show history. The objective of the game is simple: identify the faces on the coins. If Lynn gets it right, she keeps the coin. If she gets it wrong, she loses the coin. Lynn starts with a penny, correctly identifying Abraham Lincoln. She moves on to the nickel, correctly identifying Thomas Jefferson. And she keeps going, winning the dime with Franklin D. Roosevelt and the quarter with George Washington. Lynn is on fire.

But the game gets tougher as Lynn moves on to paper money. She correctly identifies George Washington on the dollar bill and Abraham Lincoln on the five dollar bill. Her total keeps growing, reaching a whopping $6.91. Lynn faces a tough decision. Does she keep the money or continue playing? Of course, Lynn wants to keep going. She correctly identifies Alexander Hamilton on the ten dollar bill and Ulysses Grant on the fifty dollar bill. And finally, she nails it with Benjamin Franklin on the hundred dollar bill. Lynn has won a total of $186.96, making her the ultimate champion of "On the Money."

Conclusion

What an exciting day it has been! From new emojis to made-up universities, from Trump's legal troubles to a game show champion, there's never a dull moment. It just goes to show that life is full of surprises and unexpected twists. So the next time you're texting with your iPhone, remember to express yourself with those new emojis. And who knows, you might just end up on a game show, winning a fortune. The possibilities are endless.