How To Spend The Summer Alone ♡ Focusing On Yourself, Self Love/Self Care, Enjoying Your Own Company

The Myth of Loneliness

As the great Blaise Pascal once said, "All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone." How often have you wanted to do something but found yourself unable to because no one else was available? Or, on the flip side, how often have you said yes to an event or gathering you didn't want to attend, simply because you were afraid of missing out? It's a common human experience to fear loneliness, leading us to tolerate those who hurt us or to avoid being alone. Society wires us to believe that solitude is the enemy, that dining alone makes us losers, and that doing things by ourselves is frowned upon. But being alone and being lonely are not the same; in fact, some people may make you feel even lonelier when you're around them.

The Need for Companionship

Desiring validation, acceptance, and love from others is perfectly normal and doesn't diminish your independence or self-sufficiency. Self-love alone can't replace the need for companionship, so there's no need to isolate yourself for the sake of being alone. Instead, it's essential to be comfortable doing things on your own. Whether you want to try a new restaurant, hit the gym, or pursue your hobbies, don't wait for others to join you. In the words of the wise, "Table for one, please."

But remember, true happiness doesn't solely come from solitude or constant companionship. It's a delicate balance that involves both quality time with yourself and with others. Surround yourself with people who genuinely make you happy and enrich your life. Oftentimes, we keep those who hurt us around because we want them in our lives. It's crucial to stop allowing people to hurt you simply because you fear being alone. People change, they can leave without reasons, or they may pass away. In the end, the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.

Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone

It's natural to feel awkward or even scared when doing things alone. Perhaps you've seen a young person dining solo at a restaurant and wondered, "Don't they have any friends?" However, research consistently shows that we tend to overestimate how much others care about what we do, a phenomenon known as the spotlight effect. In reality, people are often too preoccupied with their own concerns to pay much attention to those around them.

Psychologist Thomas Gilovich's research demonstrates that we regularly adjust our actions based on what we believe others might think, even though those actions largely go unnoticed. This overthinking leads to unnecessary self-consciousness. Once you realize that no one is paying as much attention as you think, self-consciousness can transform into self-awareness.

Self-Awareness and Better Relationships

Psychologist Dr. Sherry Borg Carter points out that solitude can enhance the quality of your relationships with others. By spending time with yourself, you gain a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life. This self-awareness helps you make better choices about the people you want to be around. With a stronger sense of self, you can create healthy boundaries and stand up for yourself.

Furthermore, self-awareness allows you to recognize your own toxic traits that may be pushing people away. Whether it's jealousy, insecurity, or a negative attitude, confronting these issues can lead to personal growth and improved relationships. You can reflect on your core values, identify areas for self-improvement, and prioritize what truly matters to you. As you become content with yourself, your relationships evolve into ones of choice rather than necessity.

The Liberating Power of Solitude

In conclusion, it's far better to be alone than to be around people who make you feel lonely. Embrace solitude as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. Don't let the fear of loneliness keep you in the company of those who hurt you. Seek relationships that enrich your life and empower you to be your best self.

Whether it's enjoying a solo adventure, a quiet dinner for one, or pursuing your passions independently, remember that solitude is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it's a testament to your strength and self-awareness. As you learn to appreciate your own company, you'll find that your relationships with others become more meaningful, genuine, and fulfilling. So, go ahead and take that table for one, and savor the beauty of being comfortable in your own skin.